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"When my wife and I were younger and our baby would cry in the middle of the night I would put a..."

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“When my wife and I were younger and our baby would cry in the middle of the night I would put a pillow…over my head. That stopped the crying for sure. My wife (who was working full time by the way) was the one who got out of bed to care for the child. Yes, I was an ass. I’m not saying that many dads don’t pitch in or try to do their fair share. But as much as women have achieved in earning their equality, there are still some age old cultural habits that won’t die. Children need their mommies. And most moms I know, whether they have a full time job or not, want to be there for their child. I know plenty of women who admit they struggle with this instinctual tug on their gut. Men don’t have this kind of instinctual tug. Let’s face it: unless there’s beer involved, men don’t have many instincts at all. We figure our wives will ultimately handle these things. And in many cases, they just do. Which puts a noticeable strain on a woman’s career. She can be earning twice what her husband earns but that’s still not enough. She’s also expected to be a good mom too (and a good daughter-in-law, and a good housekeeper and a good neighbor). And if she’s not “there” for her kids then she’s criticized. She can’t win. And by choosing her family responsibilities over her professional responsibilities (which, by the way, is the right thing to do in my opinion) she leaves her flank open to the men in her office who can do the things she can’t do because she’s not there to do it. The men running companies look at each other and nod in sympathy when Joyce misses that meeting because of a sick child. But they move on, with Richard stepping in to replace her. Business continues. And Joyce is left out in the cold.”

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Why Most Women Will Never Become CEO - Forbes

I can’t really speak to the whole “instincts” thing, but I do know that women get far more social pressure to go home and be with their kids…and that men get far more social pressure not to. (Ever heard the ribbing men get when they’re the ones who run home when daycare calls because little Timmy is sick instead of their wives?) Men also don’t—regardless of whether it’s due to lack of instincts or to social training—do their fair share at home in most homes. Even when wives work longer hours and make more money, they still tend to put in longer hours taking care of their homes and their children. And trust me, it’s not because working women want to come home and be the primary parent/housekeeper/cook after they’ve put in a full day at work. There is nothing instinctual about working 40-50 hours a week at the office, and then coming home and spending all of your spare time running around taking care of your kids (and your husband.) It’s just that men, like this dude, will put a pillow over their head and refuse to do it until their wives give up and take care of it themselves because they know if they don’t, they’ll be the ones to take the heat, not their husbands.

Of course, this is why most women don’t even bother going into competitive careers that they know will demand a lot of their time. They know what’s coming, even when they’re young girls, and by the time they are teenagers have already realized that if they ever want to have a family, they won’t be able to do all of the things that their male counterparts will. For most, the challenges of spending 40+ years defying social convention and trying to find a mate who will be supportive and useful simply make the very idea of ever becoming CEO of a Fortune 500 company themselves about as likely as becoming magical fairy princesses with pet unicorns sleeping next to their beds.


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