I quickly get disgusted and angered by those who think people have to rationalize and beg for basic respect as a human being. Further, it often seems to only apply to the oppressed at any given intersection. The privileged are often the ones “rationing" respect because they have the power of every institution behind them supporting their decision to decide who can be respected or not, versus making respecting another human being their default position. But then again, that would require viewing them as human in the first place.
When people suggest that “you teach people how to treat you", they are being willfully ignorant about imbalances in power, privilege and the fact that oppression confers a certain treatment of the oppressed regardless of how the oppressed behaves or feels about themselves.
The common rebuttal for this is “well it goes both ways" as a phrase that oppressors love. They view people rejecting their disrespect and bigotry and defending themselves against oppression as those people being “oppressive." The most common use for “you teach people how to treat you" is for blaming a woman for a man choosing to abuse her, ignoring how patriarchy itself dictates that this is normal behavior, how her access to power and resources could greatly differ from his and how her leaving him will ALSO open the door to scorn since women are shamed for abuse in a relationship and shamed for being single. This is yet another patriarchal binary where men are not held accountable.