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Is motherhood really the hardest job in the world? | Babble
cuz then you come over here, where you have another white woman being all, mothering isn’t that hard! (and woah, if your list of “hard” shit is focusing on diaper changing and dora, you are but a wee lass on the mine laden yellow brick mommy road), it’s not the greatest thing you’ll ever do! etc—
and you have to really ask the question: what does it mean to have a white woman say that mothering isn’t all that big of a deal, when a woman who typically should’ve been *taking care of white woman’s babies* is positioned in a more powerful place than white woman, based not just on her ability to *have* babies, but on her ability to be a *mother*?
what does it mean that when a black woman reaches the “top” position the nation/state offers women based on their mothering—white women as a whole are like, well, it’s no big deal to be a mother and we need to stop making it the most important thing!
there are different manifestations of white supremacist heteropatriarchy. just like living in “good neighborhoods” is not an “unearned privilege” but a manifestation of white supremacist heteropatriarchy (good neighborhoods didn’t happen by accident, they happened through the process of segregation), white women got to their relative positions of power through their relationship with white supremacist heteropatriarchy as most strictly enforced through motherhood.
that is: “good neighborhoods” get white folks certain benefits. “good mommy” gets white women certain benefits—and you don’t HAVE to be a mom to actually get those benefits.
and to be clear. this isn’t solely about or even *primarily* about those benefits (or privilege)—this is about the structure we operate under that segregates good mommies from mamas, mamaz, m/others, mamis—that makes it seem ok and natural that there are some “good mommies” that deserve ***lots of resources*** (and that it’s a tragedy when they don’t get it), and then there’s all the rest of us who never should’ve “had kids” to begin with and are actively *DENIED* resources (which includes anything from freedom to good schools) *based* on our mothering and our ability to be mothers.
(via mmmightymightypeople)
if motherhood was so easy white bitches wouldn’t have to be using all the resources in the world just for themselves to care for their children and they wouldn’t have had EVERYONE BUT THEM raise their children for hundreds of years until recently. and you know, many still do have brown and Black women take care of their children. because it’s hard. and it requires help. and it needs more than one person. jessica valenti sucks so much. what a white supremacist bitch.
Jesus lord I hate her I cant even hide it lord
Cure me of this affliction
(via blackamazon)
I just don’t understand the premise of this entire article. “Motherhood and taking care of children don’t matter that much because look how little we pay mothers!” Um…since when has our economic system ever been good at attaching appropriate value for the degree of work done? As best as I can tell, our economic hierarchy is established by rich white men who pay themselves the most money for the easiest, most interesting jobs and then pay people less and less the more difficult/tedious/backbreaking the labor is and the further the people who do those jobs get from seats of power. This is a theme for economic systems throughout human history. Rich people have lots of money basically to do what they can to maintain their wealth and power. The people who do the menial work that makes the lives of rich folk possible get paid nothing or near enough to. What we pay people has little to do with how important or how hard their work is.
The above commentary make excellent points about women of color and poor women. I don’t have anything to add on those points. They’ve shut it down.
This article is grating. Valenti basically aligns herself with a kyriarchical economic model in order to elevate herself and the work she does…the supposedly more important, more valuable, and more rewarding work she probably gets paid more than a little to do.
I wish people would stop paying Valenti to write utter crap, especially when it so throws so many women under the bus while proclaiming to help them. But there you go. People usually don’t get paid based on the actual quality or importance or results of the work they do, but based on the perceived value by people with more money and more power.